Ways & How

how to cope after a divorce

how to cope after a divorce

After years of being a wife or a husband, you are now free and single again after the divorce is over. The reality starts to set in and you find it impossible to pick up the pieces and start anew. The fact that you are alone now does not necessarily mean that you don’t know how to cope after a divorce. Be strong, courageous, and tough. Remember, it takes one brave soul to survive in this world. Your pain must be severe, especially if you and your spouse have left one another sad, angry, and bitter. The first days of your life as a single individual can be tormenting and lonely. You can’t afford to sleep in your bed, turn on the TV, or eat without remembering your days together as a couple. Whether you like it or not, you have to start moving on. The steps below can make the process of healing a little easier for you:

  1. Pour out your pains. It is perfectly acceptable to cry. After all, your spouse was once your love and a lover. If you feel disoriented and out of focus, just leave it that way. If you need someone to talk to in order to release your emotions, you can either call a friend or see a counselor.

    hichever is best for you, it’s up to you actually. Thereafter, you can lightly move on to the next step.

  2. Avoid looking back. Learn to accept that this is your life now, and yesterday belongs to the past. This thought can compel you to slowly stop dwelling on your heartaches. Remember, carrying unnecessary baggage will only make your journey heavier. Therefore, anything that can’t help you today and tomorrow must be deliberately discarded. According to Andre Gide, “You can never discover new oceans if you don’t have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” This implies that you have to forget some things in your life in order to find new happiness, hopes, and inspirations.

  3. Face your life today. It helps to write down your thoughts, plans, and goals. For example, you should clearly define the things that you want to accomplish for the next few months or for the whole year. You may visit new places, start a new business, discover a new hobby, get a promotion at work, repaint the walls, rearrange the furniture in the house, see a long-time friend, write a short novel, enroll in a cooking or photography class, take up literature or anything that is productive and helpful. The decision is yours which one is best for you.

  4. Socialize more. This is now the perfect time to reunite with your family and friends. Join them during weekends so you can avoid isolating yourself. If there is a scheduled trip to the beach, volunteer to cook something tasty for everyone to share. Never be ashamed of the fact that your marriage failed. It was your marriage that failed, not you. Besides, divorce happens even to the “best” couples in the world.

  5. Start dating again. There are divorced individuals who find it helpful to date other people. However, dating again does not imply that you are looking for someone to settle down with. Dating again means you just want to meet new people and eventually discover new insights. This will motivate you to work on yourself again to stay attractive, appealing, and interesting.

There are a number of divorced people who have experienced so much and yet they are able to stand up again and find happiness. Divorce is like losing someone due to death. You can’t imagine your life without them, but time has its own way of healing broken dreams, heartaches, and wounds. If you are not sure what to do after your divorce is over, the tips above on how to cope after a divorce can greatly help you.


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