Ways & How

how to deal with bullies

how to deal with bullies

Bullying occurs in all situations, in all settings, among all genders, ages, and races of people. The reason it often goes unaddressed is because people – kids especially – are afraid to stand up to them. Bullies know how to intimidate and to manipulate people. But what bullies are particularly good at is picking their victims. It seems like they can smell their “prey” from afar and know exactly what buttons to push. The best way they are able to do this is by managing to convince the victims that they are helpless, powerless, and without recourse. Unless the victims realize that they are not completely defenseless, bullies can continue their oppression for a long time. This can cause long-term damage to the victim’s sense of security, self-esteem, and peace of mind. Whatever the age and setting, it must stop. Here is some helpful advice to know how to deal with bullies:

  1. Keep your cool. Bullies love it when they are able to scare you or shake your willpower. No matter how much you’re quaking inside, stand up to them but stay calm, speak in a low voice and, if you can, slowly move towards a populated area.

    e bullying is more subtle, say a sharp glance, a veiled threat, a series of “unfortunate incidents,” secure your position. This means doing a good job, document everything to make sure other people in the company are aware of the work you’re doing and the progress you’re making. Do not give the bully ammunition against you.

  2. Get support. Sometimes other victims are just waiting for a chance to speak out but are afraid of acting alone. If you find others who are in your situation, you can combine with them to provide one another support and encouragement. However, be careful not to be the group’s scapegoat. Some victims are only too willing to get back at the bully but are so scared of doing it themselves that they urge someone to do the fighting for them. But when push comes to shove, they retreat into the shadows and abandon their unfortunate champion to fend for himself alone. So watch your back and keep an open mind.

  3. Find help. There is always someone who can help. Always. You only need to find that person. The higher they are in the organizational ladder, the more bullies thrive because people are afraid to tell on them. They rely on this fear to continue their destructive behavioral patterns. Find someone inside or outside of the organization who can give you the support, comfort, or advice you need.

    Just be careful about confiding in people within the organization as you never know if the bully has the clout or authority to exert pressure over your confidant and make the person turn against you, including your HR department. Know your company’s policies and find out the appropriate process to take regarding the bullying. If you have a well-documented case backed by evidence or witnesses and feel you must take action, go through your company’s grievance process.

Usually, bullies – especially grownup ones – get that way because they were allowed to get away with it by others who never complained. Many victims are afraid to speak out for fear of reprisal, insecurity about their jobs, or an unwillingness to go through the official procedures. The last one is the most unfortunate aspect. Because of people’s unwillingness to be inconvenienced, bullies are able to continue to oppress others and victimize many more until they rise to levels of authority where they can wreak more havoc. Bullies have to be stopped in their tracks. But fortunately, bullies don’t victimize only once. Usually there are others. Chances are that your superiors have already heard about their ways and are only waiting for someone brave enough to come forward. You can continue to cower, or you can find redress. Learn how to deal with bullies and decide for yourself.


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