Ways & How

how to deal with demanding people

how to deal with demanding people

Supportive and wonderful relationships are beneficial for our mental, emotional, and physical health. However, dealing with difficult individuals is detrimental to our health. These people can cause us extreme mental stress. Relationships that are filled with conflict, misunderstandings, or jealousy can actually be diminished if you know how to handle every situation. One of the factors you have to consider is how to deal with demanding people without necessarily offending them. In particular, what will you do if the person who appears to be very demanding is a member of your family, a friend, or a co-worker? The tips below can help you deal with difficult people who, in one way or the other, are bothering your life now:

  1. Accept the reality. Dealing with demanding individuals can really be very difficult, especially if you have not accepted the fact of who they are. Remember, dealing with them does not necessarily mean you have to change them. If you attempt to do so, you are just inviting negative criticisms and exposing yourself to be in a power struggle.

    Once you impose standards that you wish the other person will follow, you become more difficult to deal with.

  2. Talk neutrally. Your day-to-day conversations must focus on healthy things like foods, adventures, books, or anything that cannot provoke potential conflict. Never talk about religious beliefs and practices, politics, personal relationships, or any topic that can trigger divisiveness. Try to be sensitive while conversing in a way that when the other person opens up an issue that can become an argument later, change the topic as much as possible. If not, just politely excuse yourself and leave the room.

  3. Focus on their positive attributes. Just disregard anything bad about them, or else you won’t really be able to appreciate their good sides. If you are dealing with a family member, look for the good things about the person and help him or her to excel on that aspect. For example, if the other person is good in cooking, encourage him or her to research for more recipes and cook together. Rather than seeing that person as someone very demanding, inspire that person to bring out the best in him or her.

  4. Stay pro-active. While you cannot control the actuations of other persons, you can control your responses to them. In others words, you have the power over an abusive behavior. If the other person argues with you in an unacceptable way, it is best to just walk away rather than waste your energy by rebutting. But when the situation becomes abusive already, draw boundaries by using assertive communication.

  5. Get support. You can’t simply ask for affection and understanding from a person who is entirely incapable of giving it. Go to the people who can meet your needs like a trustworthy friend. There are still people around you who have proved to be supportive and compassionate. If the person whom you find very demanding and difficult to deal with is your boss, changing jobs is a good option.

  6. Keep your distance. You can’t continually expose yourself to abuses. If you need to distance yourself, do it. Limiting contact is an appropriate remedy if the other person is always antagonizing you. If you choose to stop seeing them, inform them of the reason why. Leaving them can eliminate pressure; therefore, conflict is less likely to occur.

It is not good to put blame either on the other person or on yourself for whatever undesirable interaction or relationship you have. It is possible that it is just a case of incompatible personalities that require adjustment and fine-tuning. If you find it really difficult to know how to deal with demanding people, just condition your mind that you don’t have to open yourself up completely nor be so close to them. By just being well-mannered with a good sense of humor, you can go a long way. Continue to cultivate positive attitudes in yourself so you can attract good energies.


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