Ways & How

How to End a Relationship

How to End a Relationship

You never thought you’d come to it, and you’d hate to admit it, but for some reason you need to end a relationship. Like, need. Right now. What do you do? You got yourself into a relationship well enough on your own, but ending the relationship is a bit more sticky, you find. So how on earth do you end a relationship? Well, there are ways, some good, and some bad. If you are a sleazebag, a slimeball, or the scum of the earth, or all of the above, here’s how to end a relationship.

  1. Vanish off the face of the earth: stop all forms and modes of communication without explanation.

  2. Leave “signs” all over the place so the other party will get the hint and make the break first.

  3. Unfriend your significant other in Facebook or change your relationship status to “single”.

  4. Badmouth him or her to your common friends to justify your breakup, especially before the breakup.


  5. Go all high-tech: break the news by SMS, chat, email, or other gadget (except when there really is geographical distance between you).

Words of advice: don’t be that person. Admittedly, a breakup is one of the most difficult things you may have to do. Certainly it requires maturity, courage and not a small amount of grace. You’ve been with this person. At one time you have staked your heart and happiness on this relationship. But people change, situations change, and what may once have been a fairytale could turn out to be a nightmare. Or at least, an unviable connection. If so, here are proper ways to end a relationship.
  1. Accept that it will hurt, and you are going to cause hurt. Minimize the hurt, as far as you can, but don’t insult your partner. Leave off the insincere “It’s not you, it’s me” dialogue. Don’t make excuses or cast blame. Most of all, don’t give false hopes. State your truth simply and honestly, but well-seasoned with kindness.

  2. Acknowledge the grief. Even if you initiated the break, there will be some grief that comes with the end of a relationship. You have to go through it and process your feelings in order to heal. Let yourself feel the pain of it, and then let it go.

  3. Accept the guilt. Sometimes, we need to end a relationship out of sheer need for self-preservation. Even then, there will be guilt. People who come from abusive relationships are especially prone to feeling guilty over leaving a partner even though in their minds and hearts they know it to be right. When faced with guilt over a breakup, you need to accept your role in causing pain and recognize that guilt is part of the process of healing. Remind yourself that leaving a relationship that is not healthy or helpful for you is better than staying in it because of guilt.

  4. Affirm yourself. Remind yourself why you needed to end the relationship. You have a right to protect yourself, keep your self-respect, and nurture your personhood. You are right to do right by you.

  5. Allow growth. Learn all you can from the experience. Study why you got into the relationship in the first place, the mistakes you committed, what was right about it, what went wrong. Know the patterns of behavior that led to the difficulties. Grow from it. Make sure that you gain from the loss, so that in the future you will not commit the same errors in judgment and behavior. Use the knowledge you learn to change for the better.

When faced with the dilemma of how to end a relationship, it is best to remember the old adage: if you must cut, cut clean. It won’t be pretty, it won’t be guilt-free, it won’t be easy. Still, if you have to break up with somebody, do it with decency and dignity. Whether or not the other person deserves it, you owe it to yourself.


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