Ways & How

How to Find Your Birth Mother

How to Find Your Birth Mother

When you come to think of it, finding the birth parents of an adopted child can be a pretty difficult task. If you are an adopted child, you might not know where to start your search for your birth parents. Most adoptees lost contact with their biological parents when they were given up for adoption. Around 6 million Americans are estimated to be adoptees, and a large majority of these people have wanted to look for their biological parents to search for answers to questions that they could not have otherwise answered by themselves. But whatever your reasons are, there are several ways to go about how to find you birth mother or father. Here are some of the ways where you can start your search:

  1. Compile all the information you have about your biological parents. The search should start with yourself since you are the only resource that you have in the beginning. Write down everything you know about yourself and your adoption, including your birthday, birthplace, and the agency that handled your adoption. Keep all the information stored in a file in the computer with backup copies.

    If you have written documents containing information about your birth mother or father, you can scan them and convert them into PDF files which you can store in your computer. You may also want to print them out so that you have a physical thing to hold on to, and place them inside a folder. It is important to keep at least a couple of copies of the documents for safekeeping purposes. The hardest thing to do is to start from scratch again just because all your files have been corrupted.

  2. Ask your adoptive parents about your biological parents. They can possibly provide you with some clues about your biological parents, that you should write down no matter how trivial they may seem. You never know where these clues can lead you. You can also ask your family, friends, and relatives for any information they may have. However, you should be careful on this one since not all adoptive parents are okay with their adopted children conducting this kind of search. They might not indulge your questions, especially if they were not on good terms with your birth parents.

  3. Compile all the documents about your adoption, such as your amended birth certificate, adoption petition, and final decree regarding your adoption. You can ask these from your adoptive parents, or you can do this yourself by contacting the appropriate government agencies for the release of non-identifying information. Here, you can get many details about you, your birth parents, and your adoptive parents, some of which include health status, medical history, description of appearance, ethnic origins, professional achievement, level of education, and religion. If you are 18 years old and above, you can have access to these sealed adoption records. However, if you are under 18, you might need to do more paperwork before you can access those papers.

  4. Register with online reunion databases. You can find a lot of these online, and there are some, known as Mutual Consent Registries, which are maintained by the government. Once you register, you will be matched with someone who is also searching for you. This will be a big help if your birth parents are also looking for you. The best one is the International Soundex Reunion Registry.

  5. Join adoption mailing lists. These groups also act as support groups that encourage you to continue with your search for your biological parents, no matter how difficult the road might be. On the more practical side, they also provide valuable information on searching strategies and current laws governing adoption, which you might find helpful in your search for your own parents.

There are many highs and lows in learning how to find your birth mother or father. But the rewards waiting for you in the end, once you are able to find your biological parents, can be very fulfilling indeed.


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