Ways & How

how to get over a divorce with kids

how to get over a divorce with kids

Whether you like it or not, children are greatly involved when parents are getting over a divorce. They shall not be put in the dark when this unfortunate event happens. Bear in mind that they are hurting too, but if you’ve been unhappy during the marriage, they also felt that. In fact, there are also children of divorced couples who are happier after the separation. Nevertheless, how to get over a divorce with kids must be planned properly. You may consider the following strategies:

  1. Reassure your children together that you will always be a family even if dad is living apart. Leave the aggressions in private and be friendly to each other when breaking the news to the young ones. They should know this from you directly and not from other people.

  2. Children react differently upon hearing the confirmation that their parents are divorcing. Some are obvious with their feelings but others are secretive. It will be a lot easier dealing with the expressive ones, but beware with the quiet child or children.

    If there’s a decline in his or her grades in school, you must investigate lovingly.

  3. Children’s excitement or fear regarding the future will be influenced by what they’ve seen in you. If you are confident and relieved in starting your new life, there’s a big possibility that they will be the same. They will worry only with changes in their home, school, and friends if you have indicated your uncertainties on what will happen next. You must have a concrete plan upon deciding to go through the divorce as far as your children are concerned.

  4. There are children who wish that their parents will get back together. Do not react negatively on this thought. Be open to the possibility, but do not give them false hope. Make them realize that the divorce is not that bad after all by taking them out for a leisure trip when announcing its finality.

  5. Be fit and retain a healthy lifestyle with your children. Get motivated by joining a yearly sports competition to make sure that you will all do your regular routine exercises to be ready for the scheduled fitness test. Get involved in your community by participating in activities for good causes. Choose family involvements that do not prohibit children so that they will be occupied too.

  6. Children can adjust quickly without the other parent if they won’t have to change their activities often. If possible, retain their current school, stay in the same house, and still have the same recreational activities together with other families on weekends. If you must move from your present home, a big change in living arrangements must be made gradually.

  7. Disagreements and fighting with the ex-spouse must stop after the divorce. Do not drag the children along the unresolved issues. Secure them beforehand when the legal arrangements are made. If alimony failed to reach you on schedule, complain through proper channels and not to them.

  8. Spending some time with the other parent must also be scheduled on a regular basis. Once the system is established, the children will not feel pressured in finishing what they have to do, like school assignments, because their father will be fetching them on the weekend.

There’s a way on how to get over a divorce with kids that will not be traumatic for them. If you are more civil with each other now than before when you were married, the divorce was actually a good idea. There are people who are better off to be just friends than lovers, and the children can clearly see and benefit from that.


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