Ways & How

How to Get Over a Girl

How to Get Over a Girl

Fairytales that always end happily ever after belong in books and movies with ogres and talking donkeys in them. In real life, love stories don’t always end sweetly, neatly, or quite as predictably. And as pessimistic as it may sound, every relationship has just as much chance of breaking up as the next. So if you find yourself at the losing end of a relationship, here are the ABCs to guide you on how to get over a girl.

  1. Away with her stuff. Whether the breakup was initiated by you or her, and regardless of the details of your particular circumstances, chances are you will have some of her stuff in your personal space – your home, your locker, office or car. Return her stuff, and get rid of the things she gave you. Don’t keep a memento. If there’s anything incriminating – no, don’t blackmail her – destroy it! Another “A” is avoid her, her house, the places she hangs out, her friends. If you mean it about getting over a girl, just don’t be around her and ditch the stuff that reminds her of you. The fewer reminders you have of her existence, the more helpful for you to stop obsessing over her.


  2. Believe that it’s for the best. Don’t let a girl define your existence. If she has become that to you, then you do need to break up with her, if only so you don’t lose yourself into an assumed personality that has nothing to do with the real you. If you made the break yourself, then you must have had good reason to; if she did it, then she’s not worthy of you. Remember that. Focus on the fact that you can, and will, be able to move on and make something with your life.

  3. Don’t remain tied down to the memory of your ex and the happiness you shared with her. It wasn’t too happy if it ended in a breakup. The more you convince yourself that your relationship was great, the more you will tend to idealize it and to deny the dysfunctions that led to the breakup. Learn what you can, what you have to improve on, learn to recognize the signs to avoid so you don’t repeat the same mistakes you made before. This way, you will be better prepared and more mature for your next relationship. You will find that you gain a lot from going through a breakup.

  4. Continue to take care of yourself. Now is the best time to concentrate your energies on doing the guy things that she kept you from doing before. Whether it was camping, hunting, fishing, spending time with the guys, or simply spaced out in front of the TV drinking beer with your feet on the coffee table, celebrate your newfound freedom and enjoy it. Go to the gym, take up a new sport, volunteer, get back in the social circuit, visit your folks (or not) – whatever makes you feel good, fulfilled, and uplifted, do it.

  5. Develop other friendships. We all know what happens to mutual friends after a breakup – people take sides and they drop one partner, or both. Don’t bother asking why, or resenting that fact. It happens. Deal with it. How? The best way is to find new friends. It’s as simple as that. Don’t rely on your old standbys, the singles scene, either. It’s never a good idea to get intimately or emotionally involved with another person right after a breakup. You will only be exposing yourself to more hurt at the time when you’re most vulnerable. So don’t look for a rebound relationship. Instead, make genuine friends, get interested in people. That way you will ease yourself back in a way that is healing and emotionally safe.

These are but a few tips on how to get over a girl. But if you follow them closely, you will find that you’re over her in no time and ready to find love with someone who is worthy of your time, your effort, and your heart.


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