Ways & How

how to mend a broken heart

how to mend a broken heart

Getting your heart broken is always devastating no matter your age or situation. It can still catch you like a punch in the gut even when the relationship has been deteriorating for some time. Nothing ever prepares you for when it happens, and you never get used to it. The worst part about experiencing a broken heart is not just that a significant part of you has been hurt so deeply; it is that it is also accompanied by all of these other emotions. Feelings of rejection, betrayal, anger, grief, self-doubt, depression, bitterness, and a host of others can threaten to overwhelm you. When a loved one dies, at least you can focus on the grief of the bereavement, and even then it still hurts a lot. But how much more when your loved one did not die but ripped your heart out and smashed it into a thousand pieces? How to recover? How to mend a broken heart? Here are some very helpful steps you can take:

  1. Accept that it’s over. Much as you would like to, you have no control over another person. You may have no part in their decision to leave or you may have; either way, you are left with a broken heart.

    Don’t run after them and give yourself up to be betrayed once again. Accept it, let go, and move on. That may seem like making it sound so easy. It is hard and it’s not quick. But your heart is a resilient organ, and eventually it will recover. You will survive. You will thrive. This darkness enveloping you now is not your permanent address. The cloud will lift. In the meantime, it’s okay to grieve.

  2. Bear up. For some time you will be experiencing a lot of grief, sorrow, and inexplicable mood swings. You will wonder if you will ever get through it. There will be days you may not feel like getting up, moments that you can’t breathe. Remind yourself that it’s part of the process. You will need to go through it so you can heal. It’s like going through surgery: you will experience a lot of pain, you will need help, and you will need to give your body time to recuperate. Just because there’s no wound or visible scars doesn’t mean that the pain is less intense or real. You need the recovery time to allow your body to regain its strength. Allow yourself the time you need to grieve. One day, your mood will lift and you will grow tired of crying and find the strength and will to get going.

  3. Carry on. Even as you’re grieving, you can’t just stop your life in its tracks. There will be work to do, appointments to keep, groceries to buy, meals to cook (even if you don’t feel like eating), clothes to wash, etc. Do not give up your life over someone who leaves you. That makes two of you who don’t care about you, and that is one too many! No matter how much you love that person, he or she is not worth it. Continue to live your life and create a new one.

  4. Develop new interests. Get out into the open. Start a new hobby, learn a foreign language, take dancing lessons, exercise, find new friends, travel. Stop limiting yourself to the old routines you have established with your ex. There is a whole world out there to be explored waiting for you, reaching out to you and inviting you. Now that you are not accountable for or answerable to anyone anymore, you have all the freedom to explore things, experiences, and places you haven’t tried before.

  5. Embrace life. Live life to the fullest. Going through a broken heart is not the end of the world. After you have expanded your horizons and tested your wings, you will discover that there is life after a broken heart, and most probably you will find that it’s a better one than what you had before. It may seem unlikely now, but you will be surprised to discover that it’s true.

Don’t be quick to love again right after going through a broken heart. Chances are, you’re on the rebound, and it will only end up badly. Take time to recover fully and take care of yourself. But don’t close yourself off to love, either. Love is still wonderful. Life is still worth living. After you learn how to mend a broken heart, you are then ready for more of love and more of life.


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