How to Reconcile After a Divorce

staff writer
How to Reconcile After a Divorce

Reconciliation is an exciting thing to do when it happens between an ex-husband and an ex-wife. There are divorces that ended up diplomatically leaving no grudges at all, but there are also ugly divorces. Some are bitter and others end up in fights resulting in total alienation from each other’s world. How to reconcile after a divorce is advisable even if you’ll not be in contact with your ex anymore after that. It’s a relief knowing that you have closed this chapter in your life in a peaceful way. Here are some suggestions towards reconciliation:

  1. There are ex-couples who prefer to have nothing to do with each other anymore after the divorce, but there are many who manage to be friends. Whether you want it long-term or not, it will feel better if you reconcile with your ex. Do the first step only when you have settled down with the changes in your life. The other party may be resentful at first not knowing your real motives. But if there are no demands or guilt trips in the conversation, communication can continue.

  2. There’s no point bringing up old issues regarding the failed marriage anymore. This will just cause the other person to shy away. Only talk about the present and future happenings. Let the past pains be buried where they belong. Look forward to getting to know your ex again in a different light, like a new person you never knew before. Understanding will come easy when you have no previous judgments about your ex.

  3. Time heals all wounds. Reconciliation will evidently take place with proper timing. This is when you’ve both moved on and are already happy with your present situation. Do not force the issue when there’re too many conflicts. It might be a sign that the other person is not ready to deal with you just yet. Let it go for the time being until another opportunity presents itself again.

  4. Perhaps you’ve learned something from your divorce already. Maybe your expectations were too high. Highlight the good things about your ex and blame the faults to the nature of human beings. You will definitely understand each other when you are considerate that people do make mistakes. The harmony you found in each other might re-kindle the romance between you two. Be open to the idea if there are no third parties involved.

  5. Since you communicate better at this point and the romance has been re-kindled, there’s a great possibility of marrying the same person the second time around. This may not be your intention in the first place, but realize that these things happen. Go through it slowly but surely. You will not initiate the reconciliation if you’re not interested or at least care for your ex. Just don’t repeat the same mistakes.

  6. Once you’ve decided to get back into each other’s arms, be truthful and forgiving. Secrets will not have a place in your re-marriage. This time, think of what you can give and not what you can get. As long as your spouse will not abuse your trust, be willing to forgive the faults that make us human.

How to reconcile after a divorce does not have to end up in re-marrying your ex-spouse. This is to come to terms with the wholeness of your being. Any unfinished business will be kept in our consciousness until the end of time. Might as well release it and face the world with a clear conscience and see where it goes.

comments

Follow Ways & How