Ways & How

how to remain friends after a divorce

how to remain friends after a divorce

It is unimaginable to be friends with your ex after an ugly divorce, but it will be uglier to be enemies when you have joint custody with your children. It will help immensely on how to remain friends after a divorce when you think that the person you’re dealing with now is not the same as the person who used to love you. He or she is just a friend who cares for your children and respects you. Here’s how to be friendly:

  1. If one of you is a difficult person, consider hiring a therapist during your initial dealings. A trusted person who will remain factual despite the intense exchange of emotional discussions can keep the ex-couple in line with their intentions to become friends for the sake of the children. Arrange the first session after having enough time to grieve over the divorce.

  2. The fact that you are no longer perceived as one united entity still means you treat each other as a separate individual worthy of respect. You will not go deeper into the other party’s personal life if you have a high regard for your ex.

    ’s not your business delving into your ex-lover’s love life. Deal with these things only when both are no longer vulnerable to pain and jealousy. Follow the agreed schedule for your turn in taking care of your children. But if you ever feel that you can’t comply, notify your ex in advance or, in case of an emergency, find a way to send a short notice.

  3. Even if it’s true, do not say negative things about your ex. Let the children experience the other parent by themselves. It will hurt them too much if they hear unpleasant rumors about the other parent. Avoid listening to gossip about your ex also. The issue will die quickly if you ignore it. By doing this, petty frictions will not affect your friendship with your ex anymore.

  4. Do not pay attention to the characteristics of your ex that can irritate you. Instead, focus on the other person’s contributions in making life more comfortable. If he can be reliable in being with the children as scheduled, you can spend that free time by nurturing yourself. You can join a hobby club or participate in social activities that will allow you to meet new people.

  5. Do not be too sentimental over the things that your ex has left behind. Your new life deserves a new make-over. Dispose of valuable marital possessions through garage sales and clear up your place replacing your personal pictures during happier moments. The other party will feel more comfortable visiting the children in your house when there are no more reminders of the past. This can also make you both secure with your present identity. It will even be more beneficial when you are also on good terms with your ex’s present partner if there’s anything to prevent further conflicts.

How to remain friends after a divorce will come naturally when both sides have moved on. Changes in our lives will continue to happen, and if we can learn to be flexible, living won’t be that difficult. There are circumstances that are hard to accept, but if it’s the only way to continue a meaningful life, we will be able to do it at the right time, and the right time is not later but sooner. The quicker you get over your grief, the more chances you will have to enjoy the beauty of living.


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