Ways & How

how to stay friends after divorce

how to stay friends after divorce

Marriage is a sacred union in the eyes of God. Most couples try so hard to live up to their martial vows to stay together regardless of the circumstance. Nonetheless, just like other social relationships, marriage can break anytime if not handled properly. Many people want to know how to stay friends after divorce, especially if there are children involved. There are a number of couples who chose to go their separate ways due to distrust and irreconcilable differences. After the marital bond is officially cut, it is quite difficult for both parties to stay on good terms with each other. If you want to stay friends with your ex-spouse, the following tips can help you.

  1. Give yourself a chance to heal. A bitter feeling is like a flat tire, which cannot take you anywhere unless you sincerely repair it. After divorce, it is normal that you feel bitter, betrayed, or underestimated. You may even lose your self-esteem. However, acknowledge that your negative feelings are part of the healing process.

    Rarely will you see a person who rejoices after divorce.

  2. Decide to become friends. Both of you must have the desire to stay friends despite the fact that you are no longer living together. One of you must give way and offer friendship. If the other party is not yet ready to accept the offer of friendship, just leave it that way in the meantime. Time has its way of healing all wounds caused by a painful divorce.

  3. Look for a mediator. This person can serve as a link in order for the parties to come to terms and eventually work out a friendly relationship. A clergy, priest, or a common friend with a good reputation can help settle post-divorce issues. Any point raised by the mediator is recommendatory in nature, which means the same is not necessary binding to either party. Both parties are allowed to present offers and counter-offers.

  4. Respect your former spouse. Since your former spouse was once a part of your life, you have to practice respect. When referring to the other party, it is more proper to use the word “former” instead of “ex.” If you are the one seeking friendship, do not bad-mouth your former partner. If possible, your family must still be cordial to him or her.

  5. Don’t talk about the divorce. Instead, dwell on the brighter sides of your new life. Your memories belong to the past; they should never be talked about anymore. To achieve friendship, be open to talk about the good things in your work or career.

  6. Talk about light things. During conversations, don’t talk about anything heavy that can trigger the recollection of your traumatic past. Instead, discuss light topics that can make you laugh and feel relaxed. If you have watched a funny movie or have read a good book, talk about it. Life talks are good topics that can promote better understanding between the two of you.

  7. Forgiveness is important. Regardless of the cause or causes of your divorce, always have the courage to ask and offer forgiveness. Once forgiveness is released and accepted, you can start talking and become civil to one another. Forgiveness would pave the way towards a better friendship.

Friendship is the least that you can offer to your former spouse after divorce. You need not become mortal enemies, especially if you have kids to look after. How to stay friends after divorce is quite tough, but the same can be worked out. Don't just think about yourselves, but your kids as well. They will appreciate you both once they see that you still remain friends.


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